It was a few days ago when the phone rang. It was Mrs. Hildebrand calling to see if I could babysit her son Michel. Of course, I agreed because she had to go to BETA Academy to grade on the teacher in-service day. When I got to their house, Michel had just woken up from his nap. He wanted to play hide and seek. Of course, I said yes. We played, ate some pizza, and then it was time for bed. I laid him down and left the room. As the door slammed, I knew that this house was haunted.
Zoe,
I love the characters in your story! Good use of first person. Where is the one vocabulary word? Also, that last line doesn’t relate to the story at all. You must connect your ideas, so that it makes more sense.